Monday, November 2, 2009

One day there was an explosion of energy known as "the universe".

























And the energy of the universe assembled into 100 billion galaxies.
























And on the edges of the Virgo Cluster there was a barred spiral galaxy known as the Milky Way.





























And on the inner side of the Milky Way's Orion Arm, there was a ring of stars called the Gould Belt.
































And in the Gould Belt there was a star orbited by planets, moons and asteroids known as the Sun. Together this Solar System was flying through an interstellar cloud called the Local Fluff, inside of a cavity in the interstellar medium called the Local Bubble formed by the interstellar bursts of supernovae. This Bubble had very few atoms in its atmosphere compared with the rest of the Milky Way and lots of hot radiation, but the Solar System didn't mind, because the Sun was able to protect it with its solar winds and magnetic force. One of the planets in the Solar System was called Earth.















And on Earth there were many self replicating organizations of carbon called Living Things. The most complex of these Living Things were called Animals.





























And in the middle Triassic period, on the body of land known as Siberia, there lived a member of the species Dvinia who's name was Kesho.












Dvinia were of the Cynodont (meaning "dog tooth") suborder of Synapsids. One day the Synapsid class would produce the order mammalia that would eventually dominate the Earth, but in Kesho's day the world was ruled by the uncouth and mighty Archosaurs. So she had to sneak around and subsist on cockroaches.

One day a very hungry flea named Miska jumped into Kesho's fur and began to suck her blood.

















Miska was so small that Kesho didn't mind. However, there was a hydrogen atom in Kesho's blood named Timmy and getting digested by Miska caused a disruption in his electrostatic force, causing him to lose his beloved electron, which he called Tron. Now Timmy only had a proton and a neutron, so he became sad.

Timmy had become positively charged, so it would be easy to attract another electron to his orbit, but he was determined to get Tron back and would have none of it. He looked everywhere for Tron, meanwhile giving cold stares to any other electrons that tried to jump into his orbit.

Eventually Timmy heard Tron's voice and he made his way toward the source of the sound. When he finally arrived at the source of the sound he was shocked to find none other than his old high school rival Argon. Argon had a grudge against Timmy, because Timmy had beat him in the school's radioactive decay tournament many years ago. Unfortunately he now had an atomic number of 18 compared to Timmy's 1, which meant that he was a lot bigger and stronger.

"Haha, Timmy!" Argon said. "I'm taking Tron to somewhere out of this galaxy and you'll never see him again. And even if you catch me you'll never be able to do anything about it, because you're such a light weight." And with that, Argon formed an ionic bond with a helium atom and shot up into the sky.

Timmy was almost ready to despair, but then out from the sky around him came thousands of protons and electrons. "We heard about what happened," they said. "Let's get that guy." So with the help of all his electron and proton friends, Timmy became a super atom, more powerful than any the world had ever known. Now all he had to do was find Argon and take his electron back.

He hitched a ride on the interstellar cloud, taking him away from his solar system.


















He looked in the Sagittarius Dwarf and in the small and large Magellanic clouds.



























































































He looked in the Andromeda Galaxy and the Triangulum Galaxy.




























































He looked in the Sombrero Galaxy and in Stephen's Quintet.




























































He looked in the Eagle Nebula and the Eskimo Nebula and the Omega Nebula.
























































































He looked in the Ant Nebula and the Tarantula Nebula and the Eta Carinae Nebula.

















































































He looked in the Horse Head Nebula and the Red Square Nebula.




























































Just when Timmy was beginning to give up hope, he got an idea. What if Argon had never really left Earth and had just claimed he was leaving the galaxy to throw him on the wrong track?

Timmy returned to Earth and sure enough, there was Argon who gave a big laugh upon seeing him "Haha, I can't believe you wasted all that time. I'm still here." Argon was accompanied by his much larger friend Seaborgium who was known for being one of the largest atoms around with an atomic number of 106.

It took Argon and Seaborgium a minute to notice how much Timmy had grown since they had last seen him. "Whoa, what does the scouter say his atomic number is, Argon?" Seaborgium asked. "It's over nine THOUSAND," Argon said. "That joke is really played out and unfunny," Seaborgium said, but Argon wasn't telling a joke. With his amazing powers, Timmy generated enough force to steal Tron back and then he split Argon in half causing a nuclear explosion. They were still in Russia and millions of years had past so the nuclear explosion caused a nuclear world war, which caused humans to become extinct. But Timmy didn't mind, because he was just an atom. He bid farewell to all the protons and electrons that had helped him and lived a simple life as a hydrogen atom.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Hyena

"One unusual feature of the Spotted Hyena is that females have an enlarged clitoris, called a pseudo-penis, demi-penis, or sometimes mistakenly referred to as a nanophallus. Female hyenas give birth, copulate, and urinate through their protruding genitalia, which stretches to allow the male penis to enter for copulating; it also stretches during birth. The anatomical position of the genitalia gives females complete control over which males are allowed to mate with them."

"All species excrete an oily, yellow substance from their anal glands onto objects to mark their territories. When scent marking the anal pouch is turned inside out, or everted. Hyenas also do this as a submissive posture to more dominant hyenas. Genitals, the anal area and the anal glands are sniffed during greeting behavior in which each hyena lifts its leg and allows the other to sniff its anal sacks and genitals. All four species maintain latrines far from the main denning area where dung is deposited. Scent marking is also done by scraping the ground with the paws, which deposits scent from glands on the bottoms of the feet. Hyenas do not raise their legs when urinating as male or dominant canids do."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyena#In_culture

Friday, August 21, 2009

Compulsion

I've found that the greatest weapon against compulsion is not will power, but laziness.

De Selby

“Corpses are more fit to be cast out than dung.” A man’s interest then, is to preserve his soul in as dry a state as possible: “The dry is the wisest and best.” It may be pleasure to souls to become moist, but all the same “it is death to the soul to become water.”

-Heraclitus in Coplestone's History of Philosophy Volume 1: Greece and Rome

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Сталкер


The other night I finally saw Andrei Tarkovsky's "Stalker". I don't like writing film reviews, so all I will say is that it's an amazing film. One of the best.




Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Noise

Rib Ticklin' Tim got a grin as wide as the truth. As his sphincter spasmed with fear [sebo de tripa] the farm implement consisted of a heavy frame with sharp teeth. . .

HOW DO I SLEEP

God had finally come. The monkey group gonna skin rabbits. Boil germs off your pizza. Oh an octopus in mighty NATO air force. . .

HOW DO I AWAKEN

Egg plant is one of her cartoon heroes. God had finally come. Twin heros Waledad and Wap. Now you're an ancient warrior. . .

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Goats



I write this on a laptop with missing keys in a filthy room, drinking water from a Guadalajara football club cup that I got from a second hand shop. The nickname of the team is "Chivas" meaning "Goats". Their biggest rival in Mexico are the "Pumas". I learned this from the cup. Do you see the banality? The writer wondered if God was a triangle ("how boring") and then died like a dog. This is arguably a point of both strength and weakness.






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